Josh Malerman's Incidents Around the House
I started listening to the audio book for Josh Malerman's Incidents Around the House on the 11th of August. I finished it yesterday: the 19th. Eight days may sound like a long time to finish an audio book, but:
- 1. I (usually) only listen to audio books when I'm either doing housework or cooking, and
- I took an intentional day off from this particular audio book after it freaked me the f-word out.
The second thing that I would like to make crystal clear is that I did not read this book. When the film based on the novel comes out (and it will), I will not see it. I listened to the audio book, which is its own experience, different to either of those other experiences, and this article is specific to the experience of listening to the book.
In June this year, Stephen King posted to BlueSky to say:
INCIDENTS AROUND THE HOUSE, Josh Malerman: This is the rare novel that's authentically scary. I mean, this is THE EXORCIST level of scary. The audiobook version is good, too.
He's not wrong. Incidents Around the House is terrifying in a time when a lot of horror is more gross than truly scary. It's also heart-breaking in a time when much horror has no heart. The story is well-written, it makes sense, it's emotionally impactful, and it comes to a satisfying resolution ('though I certainly wouldn't mind listening to a sequel).
That said, I'm as impressed with the narrator as I am the author.
This, too, is a rarity. I listen to a lot of horror stories. Some are audio books. Others are short stories shared via podcasts. Great narrators exists within both of those spheres.
But a not-so-great narrator can kill what otherwise might be an enjoyable story.
The narrator for Incidents Around the House made it even scarier than it might otherwise have been.
In order to understand why, the first thing you need to know is that the story is written from the perspective of an eight-year-old girl named Bella who loves her Mommy and her Daddo, and who is conflicted over the "Other Mommy" who lives in her bedroom closet.
And the little bit I've hung onto of young, frightened me was immediately willing to empathize with her.
Meanwhile, grown-up me was thinking:
My god! This lady is freaking fantastic at doing a little girl voice!
Ha ha. Joke's on me.
The narrator of Incidents Around the House is Delanie Nicole Gill. I have tried and tried to find Gill's age listed somewhere online, but the closest I've gotten is the "real kid" descriptor used on her website. I've also searched to see if the book possibly had an ensemble narration. But nope. The only narrator I've seen listed anywhere for the book is Delanie Nicole Gill.
My head apparently had a much easier time accepting that an adult woman could do Bella's little girl voice, and do it well, than it did accepting that a "real kid" could do the little girl voice, and the adult voices, and actually give the book a fantastic–and appropriate–read.
If you're into truly scary horror audio, I can't recommend Incidents Around the House highly enough. It's easily among the most frightening audio books I've ever listened to. I know I'm repeating myself, but if it were a movie (and it's going to be), I wouldn't watch it. I would absolutely refuse. And if it were a print book, it might not be quite as sad or as scary as actually hearing it in little Bella's voice.
But this is a genuine horror story told from the perspective of a young girl, via the convincing voice of a not-very-old girl; and the combination of Malerman's writing with Gill's narration is enough to make the story terrifying and heart-breaking; and not even half-way in, I found myself trusting no one, not even Bella's grandmother's sweet little dog.
And that was before I had to step away from the story for a day because I had freaked myself out enough that continuing to listen would have been an act of cruelty.
When I finished the book, I put on an episode of Tales to Terrify to soothe myself.
It. Did. Not. Work.
